Rid Yourself of Depression in 3 Days….

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14.Jan.09 7:25 pm

If you think you’re stuck with depression think again. After living with and researching depression for over 20 years, I found an escape.   The various knowledge and methodology is available, however, the sequence of each piece can be difficult to determine.   In 2010, I will be presenting a complimentary, no catch, no BS workshop in Brisbane.   Details will be advised as I firm them up. Register at www.discoverpeaceofmind.com. The website will be changing soon.   With an open mind, you too can Discover Peace of Mind.

www.DiscoverPeaceOfMind.com for the adventure of a lifetime.

Make sure you claim your FREE ebooks – THINK AND GROW RICH, and, THE RICHEST MAN IN BABYLON.
Discover Peace of Mind

Frustration – Or How to Permanently Relabel USB Drives!

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25.Mar.10 4:25 pm

All sorts of things get us frustrated. Often it is because we want to do something and don’t know how to do it.

Take learning for example. There are degrees of confusion, frustration, and clarity as you step along the path to learning whatever you set out to learn.

Computers are one of the great sources of modern frustration. I’m in the middle of reloading a computer for the fourth time in eight months. It’s not just loading program that’s frustrating; it’s the sequencing of loading programs.    When my computer was returned from repair this time, all my programs had been wiped and I needed to reload them all…again….arrrgghhh!   The Vista Home Premium operating system remained. (By the way, I like Vista.)

I decided to update to Windows 7 to keep up to date with technology….well at least a little bit.   However, I couldn’t update until I’d loaded the Home Premium Service Packs, both 1 & 2.   I couldn’t check my email until I’d reset my network and wireless connection to get on line. I couldn’t open my files until I’d reloaded my Microsoft Office.   The sequencing is so important but it can be so frustrating. This time though, I’ve written myself a help sheet, so if I need to reload another computer I will have the quickest and easiest sequencing steps at hand.   

I have a lot of information on portable hard drives yet one thing that has frustrated me has been that whenever I plug in the portable hard drives, my computer always allocates different drive letters.   It simply depends on what I plug in and in what sequence I plug in. What was the letter “J” last time, may be the letter “G” this time. It mucks up all sorts of connections and links. I simply want to permanently relabel USB drives.

I sought help from people who were supposed to be cutting edge computer gurus. Yet, all I found was temporary solutions, incorrect information and partial information. It reminded me of looking for help to overcome depression….temporary solutions, incorrect and incomplete information.   Sometimes the information was out of sequence.   “How can I do ‘abc’, before ‘def’…it’s just not possible. Arrrgghhh!”

However, I persisted and slowly learnt a little more about this aspect of computers. That is, how to permanently relabel the identifying letter for an external hard drive.  I actually entered a world I didn’t know existed.   “Wow, I didn’t know this screen was here.”   Bit by bit, I obtained little pieces of information, and, by tossing out bits that were obsolete, and re-sorting some information, I was able to eliminate frustration, discover peace of mind and achieve my objective…..relabelling external hard drive letters.

All systems need to be in sequence…computers or they get bugs, and ours, or we are at risk of depression.

And for those who want to know how to relabel the letters on external hard drives. Here is the solution for Windows 7. I’m not sure if there is an easier way, but easiest is not always best.

Push the Windows key with the letter R (or go to Start, then Run)

Type mmc then click OK (continue through whatever message may appear)

In the new Microsoft Management Console window, click File, then New

Click File, then Add/Remove Snap-in

Click Disk Management, then Add

Click OK, then select This Computer, then click Finish and click OK

Click on Disk Management in the menu on the left hand side

Wait for a few seconds and your various drives will appear on the right hand side

Right click the USB drive you want change the identifying letter, and then click “Change Drive Letter and Paths

Click on Change, then select a letter from the drop down list. It’s best not to use letters A to E.

Click OK, acknowledge any warnings, then select File, then Save. The computer will save these new settings in a default directory.

Check to see if it worked for you. Change ports, turn drives and computers off and on. Whatever you like….and see how the new information in your computer system makes things change just how you’d want them to be.   Now, where did that frustration go?

Sounds like a good time to pop on over to www.DiscoverPeaceOfMind.com and grab a fantastic world-famous gift to celebrate!   

Rodney Lovell

Fixing Computer Bugs

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2.Feb.10 9:26 pm

Computer problems! Arrrgghhh!    Recently, I’ve encountered two persistent problems that have stopped me in my tracks….but wow, what a feeling when I finally managed to solve them.   To me, it felt like the feeling I had when I knew I had overcome depression to discover peace of mind.   It’s great to confront a challenge and prevail.

Computer bugs really bug me, yet computer bugs became a fantastic analogy for me to use when talking about depression.  I have worked with a number of computer systems in the business world. It quickly became apparent to me that one bug caused many others. One bug was the root cause while others were the symptoms.   What surprised me was how many colleagues didn’t recognise the pattern. People would often complain about the symptoms and not hone in on the root problem.

It’s the same with life.   I recently saw a current affairs article where a student had been expelled from school four weeks out from final exams, all because she wore the wrong colored stockings.   Her mother and others complained bitterly. They can argue all they like about the validity or reasoning of the rule. However, to finish the year, all the student had to do was wear the correct stockings.   The expulsion was the symptom.    The cause was the student deciding to constantly wear the wrong stockings. Bloody hell! Wear the right stockings – finish your exams. Easy!

With depression, many people treat the symptoms.   The lethargy is treated with a need for exercise. The chemical imbalance with drugs.   The disinterest in life is countered by doing something you love.   And though those options may treat the symptom well, they do not remove or remedy the underlying root cause. I know. I tried them all.

When I had depression, I often searched the internet, as it evolved, for new information about depression cures.  There is a lot of symptom treatment but nothing focussing on a root cause. Adding to the mix was that there is differing opinions amongst researchers as to what causes depression.   I had a similar  experience when I began to research the first of my computer problems this week. Microsoft Outlook would not fully open. As the ‘waiting’ icon went around and around for hours on end, a small word appeared in the bottom left hand corner: “Databinding”.

Obviously, the word ‘Databinding’ combined with Outlook not responding simply were a symptom of a computer bug.   I researched the internet and found that the common suggestion was that Outlook had corrupted ‘pst files’ and that I needed to run a program called scanpst.exe.   The instructions that people offered caused me no end of confusion and I could not find one person who verified that the recommended and common solution actually worked.   Where was a practical step by step solution?

The solution was unlikely and came from an unlikely source. I stumbled upon a forum post by a man named Andrew Wallace. Andrew is a “Junior Member” of  the forum with only a few posts to his name. Andrew had stumbled across the solution himself whilst applying a fix for a different problem.

In contrast to the complexity of other solutions, the simple solution that this junior member was able to post was stunning and simple. It also highlighted, once again, about life being a paradox. The solution is often found where you least expect it.

The solution to the ‘Databinding’ and ‘not responding’ error in Microsoft Outlook is: Open Internet Explorer (an apparently unrelated program), go to Tools / Internet Options / General Tab / Browsing History and delete all history for all options.   That’s it.   Outlook then worked perfectly. There were no corrupt pst files. I didn’t need to run complex programs like the consensus was saying.

Now where else have I heard this type of thing? That’s right…depression cures. Depression is not an illness, it’s a symptom. Commonly misunderstood but entrenched by consensus.   But I digress.

The second computer problem I had was with my Skype connection. I have a Skype number and can dial landline phones from my computer. It is very handy when I’m travelling. However the sound became garbled and conversations were impossible. Skype had no answer to this problem.

Again, searching the net offered more ‘expert opinion’ rather than usable solutions.   There was talk about changing programs, buying compatible equipment, and running support programs, however, one post had a passing reference to a file named index.bat becoming ‘bloated’ with use.   This file can be deleted but reappears. However it reappears without being  bloated.   Now I don’t need to know how a common file named index.bat links with Skype, all I need to know is how to delete it.   For that, a nice simple little program named Crap Cleaner did the job. I’ve used this program for quite a while now and found it to be practical.   That’s what I like.   I simply selected every ‘delete’ option and it quickly cleared index.bat, as well as a stack of unnecessary other, um, crap!   Skype was now connecting me loud and clear.

Two computer symptoms cleared by totally ‘unrelated’ bugs.   Imagine how quickly you could clear depression if you knew where the root cause lay.   Look at depression as a symptom, not as a disease.

If you think you’re stuck with depression, think again. 2010 is the year to Discover Peace of Mind.

Rodney Lovell

What do you do for fun?

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16.Oct.09 10:55 pm

I like reading Paulo Coelho books. If you know The Alchemist, you’ll love his others too.  A few weeks ago, I finished The Zahir. The message I took from the book is that my life journey continues. It doesn’t stop with finding treasure.  On my recent flights to & from Kuala Lumpur, Langkawi, Jakarta & Phuket, I had a great chance to read some of the smaller books in Paulo’s collection: The Devil and Miss Prym, and, By The River Piedra I Sat Down & Wept.    One of the constant themes throughout Paulo’s work is to do new things, feel alive, try something different.   And so it was with great pleasure that I arrived in the hustle and bustle of Jakarta, Indonesia to find my eldest daughter Jayde and her English school.

Jayde Lovell is a marvel. Yes, she is my daughter and yes, I am biased. Yet I defy anyone to argue with her record of trying new things.   Like, attending a world environmental mission in the USA, staying in host accommodation.   Oh, but aged 8.   Attending and presenting to a world conference on the endangered pantagonian toothfish.   This time aged 14.   Tackling Year 11 mathematics whilst in Grade 4.  Becoming a black belt karate teen.   Organising a political conference at 18.   Sitting on media discussion panels and even appearing on tv in Australia’s “A Current Affair” .   Beginning a science club….the list goes on and on.

And so I arrived in Jakarta to visit Jayde and her English school, “Melbourne International School of Language“, aka MILS. (http://www.mils.or.id/)   The streets reminded me of the crazy traffic of Kabul.   The city’s style reminded me of Manila – dense and old.

Jayde had decided that she wanted to establish an English language school to teach to Indonesians.   At the same time, she wanted to learn the Indonesian language.   Of course, what better place to learn to ride a motor cycle than on the mad streets of Jakarta. And to top it off, live in an Indonesian apartment building, whilst paying herself an Indonesian wage.   What a challenge!   What an adventure!

While many young adults travel to the UK to work in pubs, or to the USA to work in holiday camps, I think that Jayde’s adventure is certainly another level all together.

Yet, we don’t have to have extreme adventure to feel alive, to try new things, to help Discover Peace of Mind.   Sometimes, simply walking a different street at night may be all one needs. I’m sure you can think of new or different things that make you feel excited, challenged or adventurous.

If you’re looking for ideas, read a Paulo Coelho book, or, visit Jayde in Jakarta.

Rodney Lovell

Are you more than a Training Track Star?

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8.Sep.09 4:24 pm

It’s been an interesting few months since I added to my blog. Why?

Imagine your computer being stolen…while it was in use and not password protected!   Then imagine synchronising hundreds of your phone contacts onto your new replacement computer and having the system malfunction, wiping 95% of your contacts.    Then, imagine your Western Digital backup failing and corrupting data.   Then after setting up your new replacement Asus computer, imagine it having the hard drive failing. Imagine being all alone while it happened. Your work is gone. Your notes are gone. Your contacts are gone.   Your photos, jokes, email, passwords, references…all gone.   Your electronic life has simply disappeared.

What would you do?

It’s times like that when we are really tested. All the ‘positive’ talk, the knowledge of overcoming adversity, how to overcome depression and how to appropriately express anger put to the test. Perseverance, resilience, cracking under the strain.

During my years in business, I constantly encountered systems that failed under pressure.  Justification from managers, staff, IT experts, “Oh, we had an emergency, so we had to dodge the system”, without a care in the world of the impact to other system users.   A system is not a good system if it doesn’t work when it’s most needed.   Similarly, if a ‘life coach’ cannot cope under pressure, what good is what they teach?   I’ve seen some of the world’s best presenters up close and cracking.    A sound fault during a presentation, or, a response they did not expect, and they cracked on the spot.

When I played footy, there were plenty of players who were brilliant on the training track, but under game pressure, when the team needed them, they went missing. Training track stars.   Finals football has commenced here in Australia and we get to see who will step up and handle the pressure and who will be a training track star.

So, when the computer was stolen, I had a choice. Be a training track star and just use fancy words to others, or, face down the agony and disappointment and work on getting back to business.   There is still a long way to go. My schedule is now thrown out and I’ve had to postpone many plans. I’m pleased that I faced this obstacle and prevailed. It was my mind equivalent to finals football. Sure it wasn’t without frustration, tears, and occasional feelings of hopelessness. However, I often talk about being a beacon of inspiration to yourself as well as those around you and this was great opportunity to remind myself that I am on track.  It’s no crime to Discover Peace of Mind and pat yourself on the back when you know you’ve done well.

Now, imagine that all those computer problems happened to the person closest to you.   Their tears on your shoulder.

I helped.  We’re back.   Now, it’s time to catch up.

Rodney Lovell

Michael Jackson – HIStragedy

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26.Jun.09 8:31 pm

Michael Jackson died today. A moment in history for the world – a tragic day for his children and his family.michael_jackson

Many of us forget that Michael is a person, not just a performer. A fragile heart covered by electric dance moves. In an interview with Barbara Walters, he specifically mentioned that the ‘Wacko Jacko’ lines hurt. He had a heart like anyone else. He felt the pain. He asked for it to stop. He wasn’t Wacko Jacko. He was “Jackson”. His only defence was his music and dance, even feeling the need to name his greatest hits compilation HIStory as a reminder that there are two sides to any story.

In Martin Bashir’s “Living with Michael Jackson” documentary, Jackson complained that he couldn’t go anywhere, including shopping, without a crowd gathering. Yet, I suspect his shopping trips where so many fans awaited were an orchestrated means of him gaining doses of love and affection. He may have been famous, with many people around him, yet he did lead a ‘lonely’ life. Jackson shuddered when remembering his lonely childhood. His father, Joe Jackson, used to beat him (and his brothers) for mistakes during rehearsals. His father, the one person Michael wanted to treat him like a young man, instead called Michael ‘Big Nose’.

Michael entered his teen years with a most unusual famous-but-lonely childhood behind him. At aged 14, the early part of what psychologist Dr Morris Massey terms the ‘socialisation period’, Michael had bad acne. Michael vividly remembered one woman approaching him for an autograph. When she got close to him her words were, ‘Oh my God, I didn’t realise your acne was that bad’. Michael was shattered.

One of the things that drives all of us is the need for love and acceptance. Vivid memories often reflect the very best and worst of our past experiences. For Michael, memories that insulted his looks and challenged ‘acceptance’ took their toll. Coupled with a broken nose and burns suffered during performances, we have seen how his appearance began changing during his twenties. Yet the change to his appearance was his means of looking for love and acceptance. It was as if to say, ‘If my looks are bad, I’ll change them. Will you love and accept me then?’ Paradoxically it led, in part, to the ‘Wacko’ stories and drove ‘acceptance’ away.

After I saw the “Living with Michael Jackson” documentary, I wrote to Michael Jackson. I’d seen his pain. Here was another guy suffering depression who didn’t even realise it. I invited him to my home for a barbecue and to walk to the local shops. I assured him, that contrary to his typical crowd gathering trips, a walk to the shops could be done….and, it is possible to Discover Peace Of Mind. I did not receive a reply.

Michael Jackson was a father, son, brother. Michael Jackson lived a life of feelings, just like you and I. Michael Jackson was a depressed man. A man who in his own way searched to Discover Peace Of Mind, but didn’t. And that is HIStory’s greatest tragedy.

Rodney Lovell

www.discoverpeaceofmind.com

Networking…we all do it.

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26.May.09 9:42 pm

Whether we chat in the playground while waiting for the kids or when we meet someone at a work or a party, Australia’s networking expert, Kate Brighton, says networking is vital.   Kate is a mover and shaker in networking, and suggests that anyone who is serious about their business keeps in contact with all their contacts.   And I suggest to you, that if you are seriously looking to Discover Peace of Mind in your business, get in contact with Kate Brighton.    katebk@mac.com

Rodney Lovell

Suspend your disbelief!

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25.May.09 6:57 pm

I had a very enjoyable time last Wednesday, presenting the Discover Peace of Mind Super Session in Brisbane.   3 jam-packed hours…actually, the audience was happy to go overtime so we added an extra half hour.

It’s always a buzz to suspend disbelief and display the power of imagination by having someone rigidly suspended between two chairs. That’s right, one of the participants rests their head and shoulders on one chair with their feet on another chair AND without bending in the middle!  First to try this was Dianne.   In under 60 seconds she was stiff as a board, being safely lowered onto the chairs.   And to demonstrate that you don’t have to be petite to do this, the next person to be lowered onto the chairs was big Russ.   Russell is a big man, and he was thrilled to find how he could master his mind. On a personal note: If I’m going to have the big guys on the chairs, I’d better get back into some weightlifting!

This weekend I’m off to Melbourne for another Super Session, this time at the Ashburton library complex.   Come along, it’s the adventure of a lifetime.

 

Suspend Disbelief

Suspend Disbelief

Who Controls YOUR Mind?

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12.May.09 8:21 pm

Who controls your mind?   Before you read on… Stop, think.   What is your answer?  

Recently I attended a seminar by a world leader in self-development who thundered,  ’You control your own mind. Go and live the life of your dreams’.   Hundereds of thousands of people attend courses like his all over the world. “Take control of your mind” is a message that is repeated over and over and over again.

Yet, we DO NOT fully control our own mind. To be told we can is wrong.   Many people leave self development courses inspired, excited and  motivated but then ultimately become disillusioned when it seems the message is for everyone but them. 

There are parts of ourselves that we can’t control at all.   Try, by using your mind, to control your blood flow or any internal part of yourself. Go on, think positively. You can do it. Control your mind, control your blood flow. 

Sorry, that can’t be done. Nature handles that part of us.

Other parts of us can be fully controlled for long periods of time. Try gently rubbing your hands together. Think clearly, keep touching.

Yes, that is much easier.

Some parts of us can be controlled for short periods of time.   Blow out all your breath. Now hold your breath. Concentrate. Try harder.   Ok, how about breathing in first. Take a deep breath in and hold.   That should help you along a little more, until the inevitable. Gasp, gasp. Nature takes over.

But what about your mind? Can you control it or not?    Clearly, we can’t control all aspects of our body. In time, we even stop doing something as simple as gently rubbing our hands together.   In simplistic terms our mind is no different to any other part of our body.   So it is puzzling that  many experts often incorrectly state that you can ‘control your own mind’.  Try doing anything indefinitely. It can’t be done, no matter how you control your mind.   There are limits. They exclaim, ‘You can be, do and have anything you want’ ….Or can you, if there are limits?

Think of a child learning to swim.   In water, a baby has an instinctual survival mechanism that copes better than a toddler.   Not infallible, but definitely a little better. As the child gets older, he either splashes and gasps, or, learns to breathe in when his head is tilted to the side. He breathes out when his face is back in the water.    To do this takes concentration and he learns in steps.  He has to consciously bring the unconscious act of  breathing into his consciousness.  Step 1, stand in the shallow end, put your face in the water and blow bubbles.   Over time, he adds kicks and swimming strokes and so the modulated breathing becomes easie. But if he gets his timing or thoughts wrong, he may cough and splutter when he takes in a mouthful of water. When the swimming technique is mastered, a swimmer can breath normally in or out of the water without conscious thought. The change between breathing pool side and after diving into the water is handled at an unconscious level.  

What was an unconscious act was brought into consciousness, mastered, and then returned to the unconscious.

When we are young, we believe in all sorts of myths.   Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Monsters, our parents always being right. Over time we get rid of these myths from our beliefs. Well, most of them. Some, like our parents being right, tend to hand around a little longer, and then other myths get added. Usually to our own detriment. Not many people believe empowering myths. They always seem to be disempowering and depressive. These myths are the foundation of what we build our lives on.   

After attending a motivational seminar, it doesn’t really matter what you try to do if you have faulty foundations.   And believe it or not, nature does give you a purposeful flaw.   There is no way anybody can avoid nature’s flaw. The difference is in how we handle it. Most people handle it by good luck, not good management.

The average man and woman drifts through life living whatever life they find themselves in. There is nothing inherantly wrong with this. They work, struggle, make do, celebrate, commiserate.   Often, they have unfulfilled dreams but when trapped in the daily grind they have no energy to create their goals. But that is where people with depression have an advantage.

Depressed people are generally not much different to the average man and woman.   Many depressed people can mask their unhappiness and live reasonably normal lives, which indicates that the depth to their depressed feelings is the only difference. People with deeper depression find it difficult to function on a daily basis. Again, they are not much different to the average person. It is simply a deeper feeling of depression.   Depression is a feeling. Feelings influence your thoughts, your mind.   So why do depressed people have an advantage?

Often the absolute pain of depression drives a person to desperate extreme action. Some scream, “I’ve had enough” and fight and cause pain to others. Some scream, “I’ve had enough” and take their own life. These people, generally, want to change how they feel, but they refuse to see any need for them to change anything.   They become master justifiers waiting for a magic wand to change everything.    But others scream, “I’ve had enough” and use the pain as a ‘negative motivator’ to springboard out of depression and create their goal.   In this last instance, inevitably, they have an open mind.   The resignation of hitting rock bottom, where they will do and try anything is the type of open mind many seek through meditation. They are propelled to a level that that the average person is not.

The next time someone approaches you in anger, note that your automatic reaction will not be a happy one.  You will have some sort of defensive feeling, fight or flight.  Conversely, note when someone approaches you in a friendly, happy manner. You are likely to smile back. Or at the very least you will not be so defensive as in the first example.   You are not controlling your mind in either of these examples.  However just like a swimmer’s breathing, you could, for example, train yourself to smile at everyone who smiles at you.  What is an unconscious act can be brought into consciousness, mastered, and then returned to the unconscious.

That is one of the keys to overcoming depression…  Or any other unproductive symptom in your life. Unconscious acts and thoughts need to be brought into consciousness, dissected, practised, mastered and then returned to the subconscious.

If you always fully controlled your own mind, when did you start? When you were old enough to drive? Maybe when you started school? How about when began to talk?   Or maybe when you went to one of those get-rich-quick seminars.   When did you first control your mind?

You don’t have to have depression to learn the powerful system that nature has provided for us. Anybody can learn about nature’s intentional flaw. Yes, it causes depression.   But the same flaw that leads to depression also branches out and leads us to find love and relationships!   The same flaw is what drives our need for fulfillment….and our search to DISCOVER PEACE OF MIND.

Rodney Lovell

Mythbusters – The Myth of Tough Men

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11.May.09 10:14 am

Hands up, all those people who know somebody who is perfect. If you have your hand up, who are you referring to?   On the flipside, who is referring to you. Nobody, right?   So…nobody is saying that you are perfect. Do you think you are perfect?   You may be good, bad or otherwise, but  are you perfect? No.

Alright, we agree, nobody is perfect.

Excuses…there can be a million of them.  Hands up all those people who make excuses to justify the things they do, what they own, how they look and the things they want to avoid.   Unless you live in denial, you have agreed that you are not perfect, and, you make excuses.

Sometimes, those excuses are valid reasons and sometimes cheap excuses that don’t quite make logical sense. No matter what some may say, we all do both.

Which brings me to one of our communities biggest myths of all time. Perpetuated over many years and reinforced by men who hide.

The myth is…“It is not masculine to seek help for mens problems, particularly health issues.”

Without realising it, many men believe this myth. Logically, it does not make sense to keep a problem simply to avoid getting help. Yet, when men are faced with their own personal situation for which they may need help, they make excuses to avoid being helped! 

I know men whose family beg them to give up smoking. Yet, the men say it is not a problem. If your family is genuinely begging you for anything, you have a problem.

Plenty of men wont have a health check.   “There is nothing wrong with me”, they proudly say. Ok, so get checked. Find out just how good you are – it shouldn’t be a problem.

Other men are scared of needles, waiting rooms, the doctor’s latex gloves, and sometimes even the potential results. Most are scared of what their friends may say.

I knew of a man who wouldn’t get tested for a suspicious bump because he didn’t want to have cancer. His delay allowed the cancer to worsen. Another man had a severe burn. Not getting it seen to resulted in an amputation.   A former champion sportsman began to drink and smoke because his ‘friends did it’.   He was diagnosed with a life threatening illness and gave up drinking and smoking for just one day. He wanted to continue to fit in with his friends. Too many men have depression, anger and family problems yet are not responsible enough to seek assistance.   One man even said he preferred an alcoholic haze to a depressive one, so added alcoholism to his problems.  I’ve heard a lot of excuses. Most relate to denial, “I dont….”; “I don’t need to….”   They sound like little children.   If we are not perfect, it sometimes helps to logically consider another persons opinion.

Some men will read this article and try to pick it apart….”What about women”, or, they will simply insult me, or, go to the extreme trying to twist my words that if you have a little cut on your finger I’m telling you to see a doctor.   They are the men with something to hide. Somethings to be scared of.  

 If you have a problem, get out of your comfort zone and seek assistance.   If you can’t even out of your comfort zone that itself is a sign you need help.

I include CEO’s of multi-nationials, labourers on work sites, sportsmen, artists, the unemployed.   What your vocation is and how good you are at does not prevent you from having a personal problem.

True courage is defying common opinion and I’m waiting to see who can stand up for their responsibility, to face down friends who may ridicule them, to defy the myth of men not seeking assisitance.

Some men simply think that toughness and courage is fighting or hitting. Some men deny their emotions and yell in anger. Yet fighting and yelling ARE displays of emotion, just not in a helpful way.

I once fell for the myth. I did things of which I am not proud. Yet I always saw myself as a normal guy, trying hard to get ahead in life, to provide for my family.   The greatest thing I ever did was to begin the process to Discover Peace of Mind. It took me a long, long time.  Putting what I learnt in to a system format  allows you to stop smoking in under two hours or Discover Peace of Mind in 3 days or less.

I’m not here to knock men. I’m here to point out the stupidity of following a common myth.

Whatever your problem is, take action, show true courage and toughness,  get some assistance. Defy the myth.

Rodney Lovell

White Wreath Day, May 29, in rememberance of victims of suicide.

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8.May.09 1:36 pm

My brother and I used to play junior Aussie rules football with Paul Hester at South Belgrave. Paul was a funny guy who once tried to kiss one of the opposition players! That certainly made the opposition forget about the chasing ball, while they tried to ‘take out’ Paul whenever he got the ball.   Paul got the ball often. He was a very good player.   He played in the centre and became captain of our team.   

With interest, we watched from afar as he went on to become famous as a drummer for Split Enz and Crowded House.  Paul was our opportunity to name drop.   “See the drummer? That’s Paul Hester…used to play footy with him”.

It was incredible to hear the news that day when he ended his life.   Being in this line of business I took an extra interest.   Outsiders like me don’t see the inner turmoil that is revealed only to those closest. The news carried stories from his loved ones and closest friends how Paul was often depressed yet was also so upbeat.   It is no revelation that those who laugh most often mask pain.

Paul’s diary extracts from when he was 8 were interesting. Not wanting to be in trouble, but to become famous amongst other things.   Despite our parents best endeavours, most of our troubled adult years have their roots in childhood.   We simply build on faulty foundations.

Paul’s life illustrates that fame, fortune and finding your goals are not a prevention against depression. Depression has it’s roots in our “Identity-Impression State”, which is a step beyond self esteem and way out of our conscious mind. It is as natural as breathing, and like breathing can be modulated. Think of a swimmer modulating their breathing to produce a great result. They can’t stop their breathing but they can have it assist them.

The Identity-Impression State is created by the “Identity-Impression Dynamic”, a natural process that begins at birth.   It is nature’s way of creating a flaw in each of us. This flaw leads to many outcomes among which are depression, and  how we attract a partner.   The Identity-Impression Dynamic” is too detailed to discuss in this post, and is covered in full at my 3 day Discover Peace of Mind workshop.

White Wreath Day is our day to remember those like Paul who were yet to Discover Peace of Mind.   Many men and women have mild depression or similar symptoms yet refuse to seek treatment. One man I know of says he regularly ‘gets depressed’ but ‘doesn’t have depression’.   It’s like binge drinkers saying they drink a lot but they are not alcoholics. They may not be full alcoholics but are in fact a variation of it – they are ‘social alcoholics’.   My car isn’t broken down but it does cough and splutter a lot. Should I get it seen to? Of course.   Anything less and I’d be in denial.

And like  a car coughing and spluttering, the breakdown can be sudden. So if your motor isn’t running smoothly, don’t fall for the old myth of ‘toughing it out’. That is one of the all time great pieces of rubbish.   I should know. I fell for it once.

There are various activities to commemorate White Wreath Day.   See  http://www.whitewreath.com/ for details.

And so I will remember Paul…and Fiona….and Ross, and think of their families.

 

Rodney Lovell