If you think you’re stuck with depression, think again!

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If you think you’re stuck with depression think again.

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I Was Inspired By Their Work Ethic

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Over Christmas I was fortunate enough to stay at the Quamby Estate near Launceston in Tasmania.  The Quamby Estate also houses the base of the Cradle Huts group, who arrange treks through the Cradle Mountain region. Part of the attraction is that the trek group stays in private huts with hot showers, private rooms, and prepared meals.   Cushy trekking!

The guides we had were brothers Linton Tuleja and Harley Tuleja.   Linton and Harley carried the biggest packs, supervised the group, shared information on flora and fauna, history and waterholes, encouraged the walkers, provided first aid, provided snacks, cooked the evening meal, baked bread, laid out breakfast, did the dishes, swept the floor, scrubbed the showers, cleaned the toilets, never once complained. Their work ethic was amazing and inspirational.

Over the years, I’ve worked for, with or managed hundreds of workers, many of them quite good.   Yet only a few really stand out in my memory as super-consistent in their demeanor AND their contribution, and how easy I found them to deal with during my time with them - Helen Pilati, Michael Butlin, Linda Tyler, Grant Palmer, Ian Johnstone, Robert Best, Javed.    Linton and Harley  just about topped everything I’ve seen.

When I get tired and want to put things off, I glance at a new note that I’ve made that simply says, “Work Ethic”.   Linton and Harley  – thank you.

 

Rodney Lovell

What would you do?

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Recently, I had an conversation with a client whose ex-wife has moved in with a ‘working man’ who enjoys watching and simulating sexual violence.The problem for my client is that both his daughters are living in the same house and he doesn’t want this man’s influence, innuendo or state of mind to affect his daughters.  

 It’s an interesting point because women who become victim to abuse, either verbal or physical ALWAYS later say, “How did I get into that situation?”   The easiest answer is “INCREMENTALLY”.  

These men don’t have a plan because they operate at a sub-conscious, immediate gratification level.   In practical terms, they simply test your limits. A comment here, an inappropriate touch there, and it is the woman who suddenly finds herself in the awkward position of trying to say NO. Each time you don’t say NO, allows them to try something a little riskier next time.   Suddenly, you’re fighting them off in the broom closet and saying, “How did I get into this situation?”

Often, the man will pose the comment or act as a joke. If you say NO, their response is, “Can’t you take a joke”, which belittles you and keeps them safe.

Therefore, my clients concerns about his daughters are valid. Although the ‘working man’ may not physically touch them, he is incrementally belittling them and adding innuendo to conversations, so smut becomes the norm. If they speak up, they are shouted down, and incrementally they become politely submissive. This can have a dramatic effect on other relationships the daughters may have in their future.

Unfortunately for my client, his ex-wife has not yet reached the stage of “How did I get into this situation?”, and so she indirectly & unknowingly supports the negative influence on her children. Nor does she realise the slow drain on her own self-respect. Inevitably, her family and other outsiders will see what is developing but they will not say anything. It’s been proven that in award situations, rather than tell the truth,  people often tell you what they think you want to hear! So, you can’t rely on family and friends to save your bacon when it’s clear to everyone but you that you’re making the wrong decisions!

Without ‘insider’ support my client is practically powerless to alter the situation his ex-wife has imposed on their daughters. What would you do?

Is this a good influence?

Live outside the Matrix

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Have you seen the movie, The Matrix?  If you haven’t,  I urge you to do so. I’m not a big sci-fi fan, but I loved this movie.  

Billions of people roaming through life as best they know it. For Mr Anderson, aka Neo, life is missing something. Without  fulfilment, acceptance, control and energy,  Neo delves into his one passion,  which links him to new acquaintances.   For so much of the story, Neo is looking for answers.

During his journey Neo begins to recognise his inherent talent. He has hope, which quickly fades as his questions are unanswered. His belief begins to waver.  At the point where Neo is most in need of his amazing talent, he is ambushed and is suddenly shot. This analogy is so similar to the spirit of people who suffer from depression. Glimpses of hope. Recognition of talent and passion. Looking for answers. Often their spirit is ambushed….and in its weakened state spirit is easy to kill off.   A man with no spirit is quickly fading, not vitally thriving. All that survives is a faint glimmer of hope.

At his moment of ultimate darkness, Neo returns to life. The most infinitesimal illumination is brightest in a dark room. Having hit rock bottom, he can drop no further. His resurrection is wonderfully sudden. As quickly as he was shot down, he is able to rise….but with the benefit of his journey, he now sees the answer.  He could not have arrived at this point without his failures to learn from.  Nature is an amazing thing. Mistakes and challenges lead to advancement, fulfillment, control, acceptance and safety. Experience leads to growth….sudden growth.

A question can be answered in a few seconds. If that answer resonates with you, your change can be that sudden…a few seconds.    Just look how quickly your mood can change when somebody dangerously cuts you off on the freeway, or, when you get promoted.   It’s the same to escape  depression.    The moment of change can be sudden.    Your career may take some years, but the promotion is simply a moment in time. Your drive may be just a few kilometres, but being cut off takes just a moment.    Your life has taken many years to reach its current point and along the way, there has been many ‘moments’.  You will be reading this for a reason, so you will be looking for your moment, your answer.

For me, I escaped depression in under one hour. Firstly, one simple phrase was the answer I was looking for. Secondly, a trip to the library to research my new understanding was enough to lift weights from my shoulders that I’d been carrying for years. I saw the world in a whole new way, recognising systems, signs, and symptoms.

But knowing the answer is not enough for lasting fulfillment. Neo, and I, had to apply these new insights. Knowing the answer can help you escape from depression.  It is the application of knowledge that is the ultimate transformation.    

 I see people time and time again who say to me, ‘Yes, I know that’. They know it intellectually, but they certainly do not apply what they know.   The word “but” is used a lot. ‘ I know it, but…’   The answer must be lived, not filed.   You can be a beacon of inspiration by doing no more than your daily routine, and yes, it must be a different routine than what you have now.

Neo coupled his new knowledge with application and conquered The Matrix.   His results were astonishing….like yours will be.  

If you think you’re stuck with depression, think again. Discover Peace of Mind.

Happy new year,

Rodney Lovell

White Ribbon Day – November 25th 2010

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Simply put, White Ribbon Day, focuses on eliminating violence against women and girls by men or boys.   It’s a pretty simple concept that I agree with. I became a White Ribbon Ambassador, and, made a committment at http://www.myoath.com.au/    Check out the website and make a committment too.

But it’s not just committing to not being violent against women, it is that you will SPEAK UP if necessary.

I’ve shared my values with a few of my mates. Basically, I don’t want them to put me in a position of having to ‘protect’ them. Some guys think they can do anything and then I, and others, shouldn’t say anything – but then the onus has been transferred to me!   I say the them, “Don’t you put me in this position”. It isn’t dobbing. If they can’t toe the line, I’m not their bail ticket.     

An old  mate who I’d known for over 25 years, Alan, had been verbally abusive to his wife of just 8 months or so, and her daughter, during my visits.    At the time, I was too stupid to say anything.   In hindsight I should’ve simply said, “Alan, ease up, that’s not right”. It wasn’t my problem to solve,  but it was my responsibility to speak up if she was being abused.  And it’s not just relating to violence against women.

I once had a friend at work who would nick off early. But as his manager I had to haul him over the coals for it. He said to me, “I thought you were my friend”. My reply was simple. “I thought you were my friend, and if you were, you wouldn’t have put me in this situation.”

If a guy wants to play up on his wife – someone I know, don’t expect me to ‘keep it quiet’ from her. If I’m going to be looking her in the eye, mate,  don’t put me in the awkward position.   And it happened to me too. The abusive Alan mentiioned above, began an affair with my wife.   Later when I found out, he was puzzled why I wouldn’t ‘get over it’. He tried to make it my fault that our friendship fractured.   “If you were my friend, Alan, you wouldn’t have put my in this situation.”

The funny thing is, I heard Alan tell my wife he loved her, on the night he proposed to his wife! I simply dismissed it as ‘beer talk’, but I should have said something there and then. I didn’t want to spoil their night in front of 100 people. I was his best friend at that night. Yet, he shouldn’t have put me in that position. If the night turned sour, it was his fault not mine.

Over many years, I’ve not spoken up about lot’s of things, things that I should have.   “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” Martin Luther King

There are all sorts of reasons why we should speak up. White Ribbon Day is just one.

Rodney Lovell

Frustration – Or How to Permanently Relabel USB Drives!

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All sorts of things get us frustrated. Often it is because we want to do something and don’t know how to do it.

Take learning for example. There are degrees of confusion, frustration, and clarity as you step along the path to learning whatever you set out to learn.

Computers are one of the great sources of modern frustration. I’m in the middle of reloading a computer for the fourth time in eight months. It’s not just loading program that’s frustrating; it’s the sequencing of loading programs.    When my computer was returned from repair this time, all my programs had been wiped and I needed to reload them all…again….arrrgghhh!   The Vista Home Premium operating system remained. (By the way, I like Vista.)

I decided to update to Windows 7 to keep up to date with technology….well at least a little bit.   However, I couldn’t update until I’d loaded the Home Premium Service Packs, both 1 & 2.   I couldn’t check my email until I’d reset my network and wireless connection to get on line. I couldn’t open my files until I’d reloaded my Microsoft Office.   The sequencing is so important but it can be so frustrating. This time though, I’ve written myself a help sheet, so if I need to reload another computer I will have the quickest and easiest sequencing steps at hand.   

I have a lot of information on portable hard drives yet one thing that has frustrated me has been that whenever I plug in the portable hard drives, my computer always allocates different drive letters.   It simply depends on what I plug in and in what sequence I plug in. What was the letter “J” last time, may be the letter “G” this time. It mucks up all sorts of connections and links. I simply want to permanently relabel USB drives.

I sought help from people who were supposed to be cutting edge computer gurus. Yet, all I found was temporary solutions, incorrect information and partial information. It reminded me of looking for help to overcome depression….temporary solutions, incorrect and incomplete information.   Sometimes the information was out of sequence.   “How can I do ‘abc’, before ‘def’…it’s just not possible. Arrrgghhh!”

However, I persisted and slowly learnt a little more about this aspect of computers. That is, how to permanently relabel the identifying letter for an external hard drive.  I actually entered a world I didn’t know existed.   “Wow, I didn’t know this screen was here.”   Bit by bit, I obtained little pieces of information, and, by tossing out bits that were obsolete, and re-sorting some information, I was able to eliminate frustration, discover peace of mind and achieve my objective…..relabelling external hard drive letters.

All systems need to be in sequence…computers or they get bugs, and ours, or we are at risk of depression.

And for those who want to know how to relabel the letters on external hard drives. Here is the solution for Windows 7. I’m not sure if there is an easier way, but easiest is not always best.

Push the Windows key with the letter R (or go to Start, then Run)

Type mmc then click OK (continue through whatever message may appear)

In the new Microsoft Management Console window, click File, then New

Click File, then Add/Remove Snap-in

Click Disk Management, then Add

Click OK, then select This Computer, then click Finish and click OK

Click on Disk Management in the menu on the left hand side

Wait for a few seconds and your various drives will appear on the right hand side

Right click the USB drive you want change the identifying letter, and then click “Change Drive Letter and Paths

Click on Change, then select a letter from the drop down list. It’s best not to use letters A to E.

Click OK, acknowledge any warnings, then select File, then Save. The computer will save these new settings in a default directory.

Check to see if it worked for you. Change ports, turn drives and computers off and on. Whatever you like….and see how the new information in your computer system makes things change just how you’d want them to be.   Now, where did that frustration go?

Sounds like a good time to pop on over to www.DiscoverPeaceOfMind.com and grab a fantastic world-famous gift to celebrate!   

Rodney Lovell

Fixing Computer Bugs

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Computer problems! Arrrgghhh!    Recently, I’ve encountered two persistent problems that have stopped me in my tracks….but wow, what a feeling when I finally managed to solve them.   To me, it felt like the feeling I had when I knew I had overcome depression to discover peace of mind.   It’s great to confront a challenge and prevail.

Computer bugs really bug me, yet computer bugs became a fantastic analogy for me to use when talking about depression.  I have worked with a number of computer systems in the business world. It quickly became apparent to me that one bug caused many others. One bug was the root cause while others were the symptoms.   What surprised me was how many colleagues didn’t recognise the pattern. People would often complain about the symptoms and not hone in on the root problem.

It’s the same with life.   I recently saw a current affairs article where a student had been expelled from school four weeks out from final exams, all because she wore the wrong colored stockings.   Her mother and others complained bitterly. They can argue all they like about the validity or reasoning of the rule. However, to finish the year, all the student had to do was wear the correct stockings.   The expulsion was the symptom.    The cause was the student deciding to constantly wear the wrong stockings. Bloody hell! Wear the right stockings – finish your exams. Easy!

With depression, many people treat the symptoms.   The lethargy is treated with a need for exercise. The chemical imbalance with drugs.   The disinterest in life is countered by doing something you love.   And though those options may treat the symptom well, they do not remove or remedy the underlying root cause. I know. I tried them all.

When I had depression, I often searched the internet, as it evolved, for new information about depression cures.  There is a lot of symptom treatment but nothing focussing on a root cause. Adding to the mix was that there is differing opinions amongst researchers as to what causes depression.   I had a similar  experience when I began to research the first of my computer problems this week. Microsoft Outlook would not fully open. As the ‘waiting’ icon went around and around for hours on end, a small word appeared in the bottom left hand corner: “Databinding”.

Obviously, the word ‘Databinding’ combined with Outlook not responding simply were a symptom of a computer bug.   I researched the internet and found that the common suggestion was that Outlook had corrupted ‘pst files’ and that I needed to run a program called scanpst.exe.   The instructions that people offered caused me no end of confusion and I could not find one person who verified that the recommended and common solution actually worked.   Where was a practical step by step solution?

The solution was unlikely and came from an unlikely source. I stumbled upon a forum post by a man named Andrew Wallace. Andrew is a “Junior Member” of  the forum with only a few posts to his name. Andrew had stumbled across the solution himself whilst applying a fix for a different problem.

In contrast to the complexity of other solutions, the simple solution that this junior member was able to post was stunning and simple. It also highlighted, once again, about life being a paradox. The solution is often found where you least expect it.

The solution to the ‘Databinding’ and ‘not responding’ error in Microsoft Outlook is: Open Internet Explorer (an apparently unrelated program), go to Tools / Internet Options / General Tab / Browsing History and delete all history for all options.   That’s it.   Outlook then worked perfectly. There were no corrupt pst files. I didn’t need to run complex programs like the consensus was saying.

Now where else have I heard this type of thing? That’s right…depression cures. Depression is not an illness, it’s a symptom. Commonly misunderstood but entrenched by consensus.   But I digress.

The second computer problem I had was with my Skype connection. I have a Skype number and can dial landline phones from my computer. It is very handy when I’m travelling. However the sound became garbled and conversations were impossible. Skype had no answer to this problem.

Again, searching the net offered more ‘expert opinion’ rather than usable solutions.   There was talk about changing programs, buying compatible equipment, and running support programs, however, one post had a passing reference to a file named index.bat becoming ‘bloated’ with use.   This file can be deleted but reappears. However it reappears without being  bloated.   Now I don’t need to know how a common file named index.bat links with Skype, all I need to know is how to delete it.   For that, a nice simple little program named Crap Cleaner did the job. I’ve used this program for quite a while now and found it to be practical.   That’s what I like.   I simply selected every ‘delete’ option and it quickly cleared index.bat, as well as a stack of unnecessary other, um, crap!   Skype was now connecting me loud and clear.

Two computer symptoms cleared by totally ‘unrelated’ bugs.   Imagine how quickly you could clear depression if you knew where the root cause lay.   Look at depression as a symptom, not as a disease.

If you think you’re stuck with depression, think again. 2010 is the year to Discover Peace of Mind.

Rodney Lovell

What do you do for fun?

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I like reading Paulo Coelho books. If you know The Alchemist, you’ll love his others too.  A few weeks ago, I finished The Zahir. The message I took from the book is that my life journey continues. It doesn’t stop with finding treasure.  On my recent flights to & from Kuala Lumpur, Langkawi, Jakarta & Phuket, I had a great chance to read some of the smaller books in Paulo’s collection: The Devil and Miss Prym, and, By The River Piedra I Sat Down & Wept.    One of the constant themes throughout Paulo’s work is to do new things, feel alive, try something different.   And so it was with great pleasure that I arrived in the hustle and bustle of Jakarta, Indonesia to find my eldest daughter Jayde and her English school.

Jayde Lovell is a marvel. Yes, she is my daughter and yes, I am biased. Yet I defy anyone to argue with her record of trying new things.   Like, attending a world environmental mission in the USA, staying in host accommodation.   Oh, but aged 8.   Attending and presenting to a world conference on the endangered pantagonian toothfish.   This time aged 14.   Tackling Year 11 mathematics whilst in Grade 4.  Becoming a black belt karate teen.   Organising a political conference at 18.   Sitting on media discussion panels and even appearing on tv in Australia’s “A Current Affair” .   Beginning a science club….the list goes on and on.

And so I arrived in Jakarta to visit Jayde and her English school, “Melbourne International School of Language“, aka MILS. (http://www.mils.or.id/)   The streets reminded me of the crazy traffic of Kabul.   The city’s style reminded me of Manila – dense and old.

Jayde had decided that she wanted to establish an English language school to teach to Indonesians.   At the same time, she wanted to learn the Indonesian language.   Of course, what better place to learn to ride a motor cycle than on the mad streets of Jakarta. And to top it off, live in an Indonesian apartment building, whilst paying herself an Indonesian wage.   What a challenge!   What an adventure!

While many young adults travel to the UK to work in pubs, or to the USA to work in holiday camps, I think that Jayde’s adventure is certainly another level all together.

Yet, we don’t have to have extreme adventure to feel alive, to try new things, to help Discover Peace of Mind.   Sometimes, simply walking a different street at night may be all one needs. I’m sure you can think of new or different things that make you feel excited, challenged or adventurous.

If you’re looking for ideas, read a Paulo Coelho book, or, visit Jayde in Jakarta.

Rodney Lovell

Are you more than a Training Track Star?

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It’s been an interesting few months since I added to my blog. Why?

Imagine your computer being stolen…while it was in use and not password protected!   Then imagine synchronising hundreds of your phone contacts onto your new replacement computer and having the system malfunction, wiping 95% of your contacts.    Then, imagine your Western Digital backup failing and corrupting data.   Then after setting up your new replacement Asus computer, imagine it having the hard drive failing. Imagine being all alone while it happened. Your work is gone. Your notes are gone. Your contacts are gone.   Your photos, jokes, email, passwords, references…all gone.   Your electronic life has simply disappeared.

What would you do?

It’s times like that when we are really tested. All the ‘positive’ talk, the knowledge of overcoming adversity, how to overcome depression and how to appropriately express anger put to the test. Perseverance, resilience, cracking under the strain.

During my years in business, I constantly encountered systems that failed under pressure.  Justification from managers, staff, IT experts, “Oh, we had an emergency, so we had to dodge the system”, without a care in the world of the impact to other system users.   A system is not a good system if it doesn’t work when it’s most needed.   Similarly, if a ‘life coach’ cannot cope under pressure, what good is what they teach?   I’ve seen some of the world’s best presenters up close and cracking.    A sound fault during a presentation, or, a response they did not expect, and they cracked on the spot.

When I played footy, there were plenty of players who were brilliant on the training track, but under game pressure, when the team needed them, they went missing. Training track stars.   Finals football has commenced here in Australia and we get to see who will step up and handle the pressure and who will be a training track star.

So, when the computer was stolen, I had a choice. Be a training track star and just use fancy words to others, or, face down the agony and disappointment and work on getting back to business.   There is still a long way to go. My schedule is now thrown out and I’ve had to postpone many plans. I’m pleased that I faced this obstacle and prevailed. It was my mind equivalent to finals football. Sure it wasn’t without frustration, tears, and occasional feelings of hopelessness. However, I often talk about being a beacon of inspiration to yourself as well as those around you and this was great opportunity to remind myself that I am on track.  It’s no crime to Discover Peace of Mind and pat yourself on the back when you know you’ve done well.

Now, imagine that all those computer problems happened to the person closest to you.   Their tears on your shoulder.

I helped.  We’re back.   Now, it’s time to catch up.

Rodney Lovell

Michael Jackson – HIStragedy

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Michael Jackson died today. A moment in history for the world – a tragic day for his children and his family.michael_jackson

Many of us forget that Michael is a person, not just a performer. A fragile heart covered by electric dance moves. In an interview with Barbara Walters, he specifically mentioned that the ‘Wacko Jacko’ lines hurt. He had a heart like anyone else. He felt the pain. He asked for it to stop. He wasn’t Wacko Jacko. He was “Jackson”. His only defence was his music and dance, even feeling the need to name his greatest hits compilation HIStory as a reminder that there are two sides to any story.

In Martin Bashir’s “Living with Michael Jackson” documentary, Jackson complained that he couldn’t go anywhere, including shopping, without a crowd gathering. Yet, I suspect his shopping trips where so many fans awaited were an orchestrated means of him gaining doses of love and affection. He may have been famous, with many people around him, yet he did lead a ‘lonely’ life. Jackson shuddered when remembering his lonely childhood. His father, Joe Jackson, used to beat him (and his brothers) for mistakes during rehearsals. His father, the one person Michael wanted to treat him like a young man, instead called Michael ‘Big Nose’.

Michael entered his teen years with a most unusual famous-but-lonely childhood behind him. At aged 14, the early part of what psychologist Dr Morris Massey terms the ‘socialisation period’, Michael had bad acne. Michael vividly remembered one woman approaching him for an autograph. When she got close to him her words were, ‘Oh my God, I didn’t realise your acne was that bad’. Michael was shattered.

One of the things that drives all of us is the need for love and acceptance. Vivid memories often reflect the very best and worst of our past experiences. For Michael, memories that insulted his looks and challenged ‘acceptance’ took their toll. Coupled with a broken nose and burns suffered during performances, we have seen how his appearance began changing during his twenties. Yet the change to his appearance was his means of looking for love and acceptance. It was as if to say, ‘If my looks are bad, I’ll change them. Will you love and accept me then?’ Paradoxically it led, in part, to the ‘Wacko’ stories and drove ‘acceptance’ away.

After I saw the “Living with Michael Jackson” documentary, I wrote to Michael Jackson. I’d seen his pain. Here was another guy suffering depression who didn’t even realise it. I invited him to my home for a barbecue and to walk to the local shops. I assured him, that contrary to his typical crowd gathering trips, a walk to the shops could be done….and, it is possible to Discover Peace Of Mind. I did not receive a reply.

Michael Jackson was a father, son, brother. Michael Jackson lived a life of feelings, just like you and I. Michael Jackson was a depressed man. A man who in his own way searched to Discover Peace Of Mind, but didn’t. And that is HIStory’s greatest tragedy.

Rodney Lovell

www.discoverpeaceofmind.com

Networking…we all do it.

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Whether we chat in the playground while waiting for the kids or when we meet someone at a work or a party, Australia’s networking expert, Kate Brighton, says networking is vital.   Kate is a mover and shaker in networking, and suggests that anyone who is serious about their business keeps in contact with all their contacts.   And I suggest to you, that if you are seriously looking to Discover Peace of Mind in your business, get in contact with Kate Brighton.    katebk@mac.com

Rodney Lovell