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The Glass Is Half Something….

posted in: Embrace the negative (Tags: , , ) - No Comments

Recently I had an interessting discussion with a gentleman who queried my observation that sometimes the glass IS half empty.  He lives his life, so he says, as a ‘glass half full person’.    So, let me quickly explain why that could be a problem…

Nature is cyclical, and sometimes half empty.

The trees are emptying and the mountains are full of color

The word, “negative”, has been given bad press.   As leaves fall from a tree each autumn, that is the ‘negative’ part of the life-cycle. Yet absolutely integral to the process of regrowth.   As the leaves progressively fall from the tree, they are emptying, not filling.   Yet, for anyone who has seen the miraculous fall festival across the New England region in the United States, the vista is ‘filled’ with color.   The trees are emptying, yet the mountains are full of colour.   It’s all in the context…
In ourselves, some people want to keep all their friends, belongings, values, attitudes and beliefs without ever shedding any that are outdated. This inhibits new growth.   It’s been said that nature abhors a vacuum. Continully, taking, gathering and hoarding is linear, not cyclical. Nature is cyclical. Even our lives, while choronilogically linear, are filled with cycles of growth, learning and development.   It’s all in the context…

What is the best way to learn?   Perfectionists may look for the one part of their work that is wrong, but focusing on the imperfection would make them imperfectionists, wouldn’t it?  Is that a positive or a negative?   Well, that depends on why they’re looking for the negative aspect of their work.   Often, the best way to learn is to make mistakes!   For many, surely, a mistake is a negative.   If so, embracing the negative reveals the pearl of wisdom that awaits, that is, the lesson from the mistake.  Becoming frustrated with a mistake is to ignore the pearl.

Having a perfect upbringing may sound wonderful, but what happens when you grow up and encounter a toxic boss, or a friendship turns sour, or you encounter severe conflict. MANY people fall apart, because they have minimal experience with conflict, therefore have low resilience skills and expectations of life that are shattered.   I’m certainly not promoting conflict, just demonstrating that everything has two sides.   One side is a postive and the other a negative.   And nature has decreed that lessons can be learned from both.

If you are simply a ‘glass half full’ person all the time, you are missing half of life’s opportunities.

Those in the world who are whingers, complainers, passive-aggressive or put themselves down are not ‘glass half empty’ people, they’re just people who whinge, complain, act passively aggressive, or put themselves down.   The world is full of them. Our job is to learn to live amongst them! The downside of being self-aware is to see all those that are not self-aware.

I was speaking with a young lady. She had been told by her mother that she was “too emotional”. There are many in the world who attempt to suppress their emotion.   Yet that young lady uses the full range of emotions as a strength. For her work in Advertising, she is able to empathise with her client, feel their needs, put herself in the shoes of the consumer to check that the advertising message will be well received.   Embracing her negative –  “Too emotional” – she found a pearl.   Even better, she took her discovery and promoted it. Addressing an audience of disillusioned youth and said, “What is it that people keep putting you down for? Is their something that is a hidden strength in it?   Examine this so-called negative and you may well find a pearl”.    Even with somestreet kids, their resilience and skills at what they do are exceptional. They are climbing the ladder to success in their chosen field. The benefit to them appears not when they realise they are climbing a ladder, but when they realise they have it leaning on the wrong wall.   Transplant those skills into, say, outdoor education, relationship management, or marine biology, and you may just find an exceptionally talented worker.   It’s all in the context…

The young lady I mentioned likes to go to the movies.   She explains, “When I see a sad movie I like to be sad. When I see a horror movie I like to be scared. When I see a motivating movie, I like to feel motivated.   It’s all in the context.”   Having a full range of emotions, and using them, is a rare talent.   Likewise, it can be hard to find people who realise that sometimes the glass is half full and othertimes it’s half empty. It’s all in the context…

The gentleman I spoke with said he was a ‘glass half full’ sort of guy. Yet he had depression. If you truly want to Discover Peace of Mind, some outdated beliefs have to change.   What will they be for you……?

Rodney Lovell

 

Another month begins – What do you do?

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Happy new month! How’s all those resolutions going?   I once kept my new year’s resolution for 23 years. It was – “Don’t make resolutions”.   I was very proud of keeping that resolution, until I realised that not making resolutions meant the progress in my goals was minimal. Hmmm.

So here I am at the beginning of another new month, and I’m updating my resolutions. Some, I’ve found, have a use-by date, or don’t form part of my bigger goals. It’s good to have a clean out, and to confirm that other goals remain.  There is a lot of groaning, planning and thinking.  I’ve used a variety of methods to keep track of my goals and their progress.

Life is to be managed, not mastered.  How do you manage your goals each month?